Aaron and I went out with friends last night to see an 80s band at a great place in Marshfield called Station Eight. We’d discovered this bar for the first time after a group of us from ALS One went there after the Tucker Toss. I loved it instantly because it was incredibly accessible and that is not something that is particularly easy to come by. It was easy to access from the parking lot and once inside, there was ample room for me to navigate through in my wheelchair without worrying about running into things or people. And probably the best part was the fully separate and accessible bathroom. It doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, it’s a big deal.
Anyway, we had a great time over the course of the night. The music was amazing, and my friend Sharon and I found ourselves up on the dance floor before long. The one thing I found a bit disconcerting was that at the end of the night, when we were still up on the dance floor, winding down and getting ready to leave, I had more than one person come up to me and tussle my hair or grab my arm or, in a definite first for me, kiss the top of my head. Listen, I love meeting new people, and I’m all about the dance floor vibe, but that’s just weird. Come up and introduce yourself. Offer a hand to shake or even a fist bump, but don’t kiss me on the head. It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. It’s a little dehumanizing. And did I mention it’s weird?
Now I honestly understand that none of these people meant any harm. We’re a bunch of Gen-Xers and we were all enjoying the music and the vibe. I totally get that. And back in the day when I would go to clubs and get on the floor to get my dance on, we’d often be joined by others, and we’d end up high-fiving and fist bumping and maybe even hugging. I’m sure this was their version of just that. But if I’m going to be honest, sitting in a wheelchair, powerless to avoid anyone from just coming up and invading my space feels super uncomfortable. It’s a vulnerability that I am just not OK with. So, while I absolutely appreciate the normalcy of being up on the dance floor, even if my version of dance these days is just moving a bit from side to side in my chair, I would love it if people would just come up and introduce themselves and offer a hand or a fist bump instead of actually touching me or (cringe) kissing me. Shit. At least buy me dinner first.
Rise Against ALS! 